From a very young age I knew that the concept of boys being superior to girls was flawed. I didn’t have the language to explain it but I knew it was BS. I remember we were playing in the yard, I must have been 4/5 years old, and my brother said boys were born first and girls followed and that was just the way it was. My sister and I would be scolded for being messy and it wouldn’t be on the basis of general cleanliness and hygiene but that we were girls and girls aren’t allowed to be messy. My sister was called a Tom Boy because she liked climbing trees, and jumping off the roof. She was told it’s unladylike and the whole time I remember thinking, I heard the words “what man would marry you looking/speaking/behaving like that.” My whole life was me constantly thinking: “Well this is some BS.”
I fought back with actions…
I could never fight the oddities with words and I was too afraid to ask why so I chose defiance as my best strategy. I wore the clothes I was told not to wear, I did the things I was told not to do. More than anything I refused to be put in the ‘the girls are only allowed to do this box. I told myself every day that I was never going to conform to norms that did not make sense to me. It was not until I came across some women role models that I could put a name to the mess I experienced around me and found the courage to speak up. These women lit a fire in me and encouraged me to learn more, read more, and explore more. They helped me understand the nature of feminism and finally put a name to how I have always carried myself.
Now, this is what feminism means to me…
I feel feminism is entrenched in the very essence of who I am. For as long as I can remember I have always identified with its ideals. I was the eight year old who didn’t understand why it was my duty to wear shorts under my skirt so everyone on the playground wouldn’t see my underwear when a boy decides to lift it. Then I became the teenager who didn’t understand why we were taught differently from boys to make ourselves smaller in comparison to them.
What FemInStyle has done for me…
FemInstyle Africa became a platform for me to express my ideas, to learn, and more importantly to expand my mind through the exceptional women that I work with. That I have grown so much in my writing and understanding of what feminism is through FemInStyle. I’m grateful that from my journey of silent defiance to finding my voice and courage, FemInStyle Africa was the platform where I could finally express myself, teach, and mostly learn about feminism.
